This is a sad, and yet very fun short little piece. Each time I write these, I can’t help but think each one is a favorite. I really do enjoy writing these and seeing where they take me next.
Today’s Prompt: With that, she walked into the rain and didn’t look back. That was the last time anyone ever saw her.
This is it, he thought. Tonight’s the big night, the night he pops the question. He had been planning for months. Every detail meticulously planned. The reservations were in twenty minutes. He had the ring in his coat pocket. As he drove to her house to pick her up, he felt the rising thrum of anticipation! His hands were slightly damp on the steering wheel.
Pulling to a stop in front of her house, he looked up in dismay as the first drops of rain began to fall. Not rain! He thought helplessly, but then, his eyes sparked. She loves the rain. He couldn’t have planned better if he could control the weather himself! Reaching in the back seat he pulled out the umbrella and walked up to her door. Ringing the doorbell he waited patiently. Looking at the house he started to get nervous, usually she would have answered by now. She knew he was coming to pick her up. What if…
The door opened and she smiled at him, a ray of sunlight that melted all of his worries away. “Sorry, was just finishing up. Are you ready?” She asks.
“You look marvelous, worth waiting all day!” He tells her, holding the umbrella, and sticking out his elbow for her to tuck her hand in to.
She laughs, taking his arm, and holding her dress with her other hand. He carefully opens the door and helps her in the car, running around and jumping in himself. Heading for their reservation.
Pulling up to the doors, he hands his keys to the valet and they make their way inside. After they ordered, and had their glasses of wine before them, he looked to the maitre d’ who signaled the musicians to start playing. As the music started to reach a crescendo, he looked to her and pulled the little box from his pocket.
“Lilly… you have become everything to me. Every perfect moment in my life, you are there. So I ask you” he carefully gets up and kneels by her side, holding the ring for her to see, “will you marry me?”
She looks at him dumbfounded. She thought he knew, that he understood. She couldn’t do this! Looking at him, a quiet cry escapes her, and he starts to smile. She gets up and backs away for a moment, staring at him. Fleeing to the doors, she looks back once more, her eyes sad. With that, she walked into the rain and didn’t look back. That was the last time anyone ever saw her.
I hope you enjoyed my take on that prompt. What about you? What story speaks to you when you read that prompt? Please share in the comments below. Remember that if you like what you find here, I am published! You can find my work in a couple of anthologies, MN Emerging Writers and the National Edition!
2 thoughts on “DFF: The Proposal”
Nice work, one suggestion. If you delete the following two sentences from the opening there is a nice mystery throughout as the reader wonders what is going to happen to cause her to walk out, but with these two sentences, the mystery vanishes and the story is too predictable!
1. Tonight’s the big night, the night he pops the question.
2. He had the ring in his coat pocket.
If I actually rewrite this I will totally keep that in mind! Thanks so much for your thoughts.